Life Long Learning

 

It’s all about understanding the value of Life Long Learning!

Quote Henrik Clausen.

 

My old and very valued friend, Henrik Clausen wrote a really good article on LinkedIn a while ago. I read it and I totally agree.

It must have really impressed me because it has long “gnawed” in my writing lust and “whispered” irresistible words in my ear. So intense that I have put myself behind the keys to get the words out, that have been writing themselves for months in my head.

Henrik concluded that: “It was time for me to take a look in the mirror”.

That conclusion came to me too a few months ago but I asked myself an other question than Henrik – I asked: ”Who and what am I?”

In the spring of 2013 a journey started which I am still in but now the journey is much more comfortable than when it started. It started with a cancer diagnosis, later an operation and when I woke up on December 2. 2013, I had two ostomy pouches on my stomach and had been made irreparably impotent.

The journey has been filled with both downs, up’s, adventures and realizations, but it develops me all the time and I actually do not feel that I am standing still. Not that I have to move all the time but it “facilitates” a lot of questions, feelings and thoughts.

Questions, feelings and thoughts I need to relate to and find out to live with or choose not to live with. For example, I have chosen not to live with shame or silence in relation to the impotence. I have found out to live with two bags on my stomach and I have chosen to look at my inside so I might be a better version of myself.

That’s how it is and I’m not really complaining about my journey or anything related to it. I “just travel” and try to find the strength, ability or patience to be in the journey itself – without knowing where it ends.

My mental and emotional journey became a physical journey in April this year. I took a month in Portugal to look intensely at my inside and hopefully find out who and what I was. A whole month in another country, alone and with no other plan than trying to answer my own question – to learn.

In Portugal, I tried to answer my question and as the days went by I was able to formulate an answer more and more. Not an answer I liked but an answer that was true. An answer that made me sad, made me feel ashamed and pained endlessly in my heart. I recognized who and what I was.

I recognized that I would make changes in my life and in the way I am in the world. I recognized that my life has, almost bin a parody of a life – just aside from my children, my life has accomplished nothing. It’s not because I have’nt had the opportunity to make my life meaningful – opportunities have been abundant but I just have not seized them or pursued them.

I have let myself be lulled into meaningless circumstances and wannabee castles in the air which has brought me nothing beyond disgrace, triviality and a gray life. To date my life has not been significant or just near by.

The most significant I have ever done is giving my genes to two beautiful, wonderful and lovely young women – of course, this is a significant achievement that I am infinitely proud of. That is, after all, my legacy to the world.

Portugal brought all my life into consideration – what shall happen in my life ahead and who am I? I looked closely at the mirror, like Henrik, and actually saw a man I didn’t want to be anymore – I wanted to see a completely “other” man in the mirror but I saw me.

One month went by and I went back to Denmark. The acknowledgments were not packed into the suitcase but stored in my heart, ready to be worked at home in my everyday life. Irreplaceable lifelesson.

My journey of formation has influenced my life a great deal and once again I stand at a cross on the road of life and must choose which way I want to go – Portugal delivered that answer to me so I am not in any doubt that I want to go exactly The way I go right now. A road that will make me happy and make the rest of my life significant.

I found out who and what I was in Portugal and now I am in the process of finding out how to change the patterns I have incorporated all the way back from my childhood into another way of being in the world and thus becoming it best version of myself – become the man I was born to be.

In the eyes of the world my life does not matter but in my beloved’s and my eyes it does matter – my life matters, it means a lot to them and myself and on that basis I will work to make it also mean something for the world.

In this learning process I have decided that I will, as far as possible, deal with the things that matter to me, what will mean something to the world and that will mean something to people.

The projects I’m doing right now mean something to the world: Less light pollution in nature, less taboo in terms of impotence and stoma, more safety and quality of life for ostomy-operated and more public education in connection with the cancer treatment in Denmark.

Without learning your whole life and using that knowledge wisely, whether it is technical, emotional or mental, we end up in a place where nobody really wants to be – that’s why Henrik is right.

“It’s all about understanding the value of Life Long Learning!”

I will continue to learn the rest of my life – I hope you will too!

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